To live from your heart you need to heal your heart
You carry the scars and they don’t simply disappear.
When you feel hurt or experience any extreme feeling, it is tapping in to the deepest places of your heart. Even if you don’t realise it, when you are hurt, this is affecting your inner child. The part of you that flinches, is sensitive and vulnerable.
Inside the psyche of each of us lives the Inner Child subpersonality (a piece of yourself that’s 5 years old). It is vitally important that you make sure that that Inner Child piece of yourself, is supported, loved and protected. It is at the core of your being and how this Inner Child responds to the way you’re treated, will affect you for the rest of your life.
It may be the same set of words or insults you experienced in childhood. It can feel like a sword piercing you in the same wound. Or there is a thread of familiarity to your feelings – fear, a sense of being unsafe, hostility, anger, aggression, invisibility, not good enough, a scapegoat for others, the butt of jokes or the one always excluded.
You may recognise this as part of a greater experience felt alongside others – like gender, race, class and physical ability.
The hurts of your heart are unique to you
To another person, the hurt may seem trivial or non-existent. Yet to you it’s a deep blow. So how can you heal your heart and honour your experiences?
How you might deal with it is to squash the feeling right down. You may not recognise why it triggers so strongly within you. As humans we’re often intent on pretending that we haven’t been hurt. We do this again and again and again.
The shape and the feel will always have connections to your previous experiences, from childhood onwards. Even as an adult, the hurting affects your inner child, held in the astral field around your heart. Although, for many people, they are no longer aware of this because they have become so numb to the feelings.
If you have courage, you can do the work of healing the heart from its scars.
How to heal your heart
Sit in stillness and focus on the space across your heart centre. Breathe in and out through your heart, creating an authentic safe space of meditation in which to listen to the echoes. Acknowledge what you hear.
You might realise that you’ve become numb to some of those feelings. They’ve formed hardened kernels that you never bother to open up. Questions may arise: why does this always seem to happen, why do I react this way, is this true, why is that so, how did that become a thing for me?
Or events may flash up in your mind’s eye. Experiences of sadness and pain.
Let yourself unravel. Hold your heart with tenderness and love. Honour and respect yourself so much that you decide you will no longer tolerate behaviours around you that are not nurturing and kind to you.
As you sit in a quiet safe space, breathe deeply into your body.
Feel the hurt in your heart and listen carefully.
Whisper soft words to yourself, the kinds of words you needed as a child but didn’t receive. You can do this for yourself now as an adult. Heal yourself with phrases and words that can be your own sweet medicine.
It is probably the kind of language our society is less inclined to use – the language of love, self-compassion, tenderness, beauty, reverence, integrity, dignity.
Listen to your feelings without judgement as they swirl within your heart.
Your heart creates your reality
It may not be likely that anyone else will finally acknowledge or validate your difficult experiences. With all relationships, now and in the past you need to do this work for yourself. It is your heart holding the scars that require healing.
When you’ve given them the space they need you can then uplift your feelings with the choice of your attitude.
Choose praise, love and gratitude. Imagine or look around you for all those things that you can associate with praise, love and gratitude. Focus on what is present. You will find there is always an abundance of this!
These attitudes flow from your heart, and begin to create your own reality.
I invite you to return to this safe space frequently.
Become familiar with the experience where you envelop your whole self with tenderness and care. Hold the space for your wounds to begin to heal. Let your meditation to heal your heart become your daily refuge of grace.