‘I don’t feel good enough!’
Most of us put on a brave front. We push ourselves harder and we keep positive. And yet beneath the veneer of success or mask of serenity that we’ve created, we often don’t feel good enough.
Those constant stories
A ‘trance of unworthiness’ lies beneath all our endeavours. This is Tara Brach’s term – a trance of unworthiness is an almost unconscious belief we hold about ourselves.
You feel unworthy, alienated from others, ashamed, fearful or you don’t feel good enough.
These deeply-held beliefs are habitual. They rise up at inconvenient moments. Yet they’re stories from our past that we keep telling ourselves.
We take them for granted and believe these stories our inner critic whispers to us. ‘I don’t feel good enough!’ or variations on this theme!
Cut through them
Cut through these undermining thoughts and use one of Tara Brach’s phrases:
‘As you go through your day, pause occasionally to ask yourself, ‘This moment, do I accept myself just as I am?’
And when you stop to ask yourself this, welcome what you find and be kind to yourself. As Brene Brown says:
‘I’m slowly learning how to straddle the tension that comes with understanding that I am tough and tender, brave and afraid, strong and struggling – all of these things, all of the time…’
Acceptance
Accept how you’re feeling. Don’t be overwhelmed by it. Welcome the doubts alongside your desires to succeed. Lean in to the fears at the same time as standing strong and tall.
It’s a natural fact that our emotions and beliefs span both ends of the spectrum within us. We each have the capacity for good and evil. Just like night and day. Light and shadow.
‘I don’t feel good enough!’ can co-exist with ‘I feel strong and capable!’
Next time you don’t feel good enough, remember that!
References:
Tara Brach, ‘Radical Acceptance’
Brene Brown, ‘Rising Strong’
This week Place of Serenity was included in a ‘100 Top Self-Improvement Blogs’. Follow the link for lots of great inspiring blogs and look out for us in the sub-category ’20 Top Self-Motivation Blogs’
Yvette Jane – Mindfulness & Meditation Coach
Many congratulations on the very well-deserved inclusion of this blog in the “100 Top Self-Improvement Blogs”! So lovely to see you take your place among such good company 🙂
And this post offers another deeply valuable reminder of the value of the word “..and..”, as in “I am brave AND I am afraid”.
Looking forward to reading your future posts – and to being brought gently back to my centre. Thank you!
Thank you so much Lizzie! Yes, ‘and’ is worth remembering! x
Thank you Yvette. well done I am not surprised your blogs have been recognised they are so beautifully designed and rich in their content. It feels generous.
Warm wishes Barbara
Thank you so much Barbara. Such a lovely comment! x