It might appear very simple to remember that connection is what heals your feelings of separation.
Yet feelings of separation are very common. We feel separate from other people, from what is going on in the world, from our family and loved ones, and even from ourselves.
We’ve bought into the great big fat lie that we are all separate from one another. And separate individuals living ‘on’ this planet. We fear sharing how we feel when it comes to our feelings, failures, faults, mess-ups and sadnesses.
And so everyone thinks they’re alone in their feelings, failures, faults, mess-ups and sadnesses.
We’ve forgotten that we all evolved from the same source – this is the mystery of life itself. And that we’re each a living component of the incredible web of life.
Each of us is unique, yet we have tried to fit in and lie low. In doing so, we close down any sense of being different. As a child, rather than being encouraged, you may have felt quashed. For being different, for saying unusual things or for not saying enough.
Connection is what heals your feelings of separation
The solution can be simple yet really tough! We dare to share feelings and experiences with certain people. We ‘assume’ they can be trusted. But it turns out not to be so.
When you open your heart it can be stamped down on like a ton of bricks. I know this has happened to me, you too? This is deeply wounding. And we shut ourselves off even further.
On a very basic level we remember a traditional saying, ‘A problem shared is a problem halved.’ It can be good to talk! Share first with those you can really trust.
Then you feel supported and not as isolated. Speak your feelings aloud to take you away from that self-condemning place.
When you feel the warmth and tenderness of kind and loving listeners, you’re on your way. With loving support, you feel the courage to express yourself in ways that are unique to you.
Connect with yourself
Alongside connection with others, you can build up the connection with your own self. Meditation is great for that – you come home to yourself.
You become your own loving listener and feelings of separation start to heal.
You create a ‘graceful and harmonious cocoon’, your unique self, in which to integrate within the world. Writing, art, dancing, music, cooking, creating, sports, working or playing in nature. Your inner world matches your outer world. Create the life you enjoy. You may even become an inspiration to others.
How courageous of so many people who are already revealing their true selves, challenges and all. It paves the way for us all to be a little braver.
So don’t forget; all of this begins with tapping into connection with your own self. Create space for stillness and exploration within.
Dispel that inner sense of separation – and let the real you emerge!
‘Graceful and harmonious cocoon’ – inspirational language from the work of Ciara Young, The Blazing Heart Foundation
Need someone to listen to you? Contact: Samaritans
Yvette Jane – Mindfulness & Meditation Guide