Can I Be My True Self When I Am So Busy?
Be you… let your confidence rest in your essence, not function
~ Aubrey Marcus
Your ‘function’ is when you describe yourself as your work and things that you ‘do’.
Remember that your true self is more like this:
Your essence is you. Without anything else to define you.
That sentence may seem stark, without embellishment.
Notice if it seems insufficient. If you are not what you do, who are you?
My True Self Lies Beneath Habits
We all have default settings. These are deeply entrenched programmes that we often exhibit as behaviours without our awareness. They’re habits. And they usually dismiss the idea that you are enough simply as you are.
‘Being busy’ is praised by the society we live in. It creates a turmoil of drama, beneath which is your true self.
Just as some behaviours can be helpful, many more destructive ones are so interwoven with the long-distance of our lives that they’ve become ways in which we define ourselves. We therefore think they are unchangeable.
‘… you developed certain patterns of behavior due to a belief programming … to keep you from feeling unwanted anxiety and hurt … they are causing more harm than good’
Our Culture Supports Being Busy
We have phrases like: ‘Hard work’, ‘life is tough’, ‘no time to rest on your laurels’ etc.
There is nothing wrong with being busy, but it becomes an issue when the idea of stillness, time to replenish in a calm and gentle manner, is actively criticized. It’s not regarded as essential for our wellbeing.
Even if you are not doing such work, you may still find your life is a whirlwind because it’s all you’ve ever known. There are times in our life when this may be inevitable, especially when you have children or a very demanding job.
But there may be a destructive point where you feel that you’ve lost sense of who you are. Or you are so busy that you place the needs of others above and beyond your own health.
Perhaps you take on more and more responsibilities, even when life changes may be offering you the chance to slow down and savour life.
Join the Dots Between How to Be Busy and How To Be My True Self
Start with a mindful breath. Literally, notice that you are breathing. Or rather, your body is breathing for you.
Then you can engage with it, to breathe deeply. Acknowledge how you feel right now.
To ‘know thyself’ is to go within. This the task of mining the jewels within yourself.
It starts with the breath and might continue with a notebook and pen at bedtime.
In the stillness and the quiet recall how you behaved during the day.
And it’s not about judging and berating yourself. This is an awakening towards a gentle enquiry within.
Explore How To Be My True Self
It can be very complex, so for example, my teenage years were very isolated and lonely. But I found ways to fill the vast emptiness – ways that served a purpose at the time.
But then we may find ourselves using these same tools again and again, until they become destructive and we feel powerless.
As adults some of our childhood defences become a double-edged sword.
‘You’re Wearing Disguises’
As you start to explore what being busy means, you will find that this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many more layers within us all. We are complex and our behaviour is often nuanced.
Some things seem obvious, others are disguised more deeply.
As humans we often find it so easy to point a finger at others and judge them. The greatest challenge is instead, to look at ourselves.
You can have a busy job, and/or a busy life. The key is where your mind and heart are when it’s happening.
Because that’s the start of really living a life that is unique to you.
Mindfulness and meditation can help with this. It’s a radical act in a world that worships ‘busy’.
Let yourself bloom today and awaken: ‘I can be my true self!’
Yvette Jane – Mindfulness & Meditation Guide