Place of Serenity’s mission is to help you stay calm and resilient in your life! Here I share 4 powerful phrases to help you stay calm and resilient as often as you need.
When you fall
During Mo Farah’s fall in the 10,000 metre race in Rio 2016 he had the mental strength to continue. He said that he’d promised his daughter he would win gold.
So in those immediate moments he repeated to himself,
He stayed focused and went on to win the race.
So here are 4 phrases for you to draw on when you need to stay calm and resilient. See which suggestions are most helpful for you.
1 Stop taking things personally
In the classic film, ‘You’ve Got Mail’ Tom Hanks tells Meg Ryan that when he bought out her bookshop, ‘It wasn’t personal’.
She retorted, ‘I’m so sick of that. All it means is that it wasn’t personal to you. But it was personal to me. It’s personal to a lot of people. What is so wrong with being personal anyway?
Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.’
And yet this phrase, ‘Stop taking things personally‘ can be a huge help sometimes. Social Media allows us today to react angrily and take things personally. The alternative is to step back and remove yourself from the drama. Stay resilient and not easily swayed.
Read Marc Chernoff’s take on it here. He explains why it’s best not to take things personally and offers 7 mantras to help. It’s a great article.
2 This will pass
If the happy moments don’t last forever, nor do the difficult ones.
If you’re waking up each day to negative thinking too often, say to yourself,
- ‘I am feeling sad AND I can breathe in light.
- I am feeling anxious AND I can breathe in calm.
- Both are happening and it will pass.’
Perhaps you’re ‘enduring’ something difficult. However, switch this round and think of it more as ‘relaxing into it’.
Soften your body’s muscles as they tend to tense up and resist difficulties. As you surrender into the phrase, ‘This will pass’ you might even find a nugget of learning or truth buried beneath it all.
Rudyard Kipling in his poem ‘If’ says:
‘If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same …’
3 What do I need right now?
It’s easy to be hard on ourselves.
‘what do I need right now?’
directs you straight into a compassionate mental frame. You’re not berating yourself. You listen in and discover what would be helpful for you to do.
When you make a mistake at work, notice how your immediate thoughts are to believe you’re a failure. With a resilient mindful thought, be kind to yourself instead.
Acknowledge ‘I’ve made a mistake’.
Re-frame your language as if you were speaking to a good friend. You wouldn’t hurl tough criticisms at them. You’d look for kind and helpful aspects to highlight.
And you’d perhaps tell them to take a break – go for a drink together, get some fresh air, start again tomorrow. So do that. For yourself!
‘What do I need right now?’ I need to continue being my own best friend.
4 Nature is a healer
Most of us love nature in some form. We can go outside and find peace in the countryside, a local park or along the seashore. Or at the very least, we can look out of a window onto the sky. Nature really is a healer.
Nature is also a healer when we visualise it. We can draw on nature’s qualities in the following ways:
Create your own sanctuary within your mind. It could be a favourite place by the sea, a woodland glade or a mountain-top. When you visualise this place it allows you to easily evoke a feeling of peace and calm.
There may be a lot of disruption and noise happening around you. You feel uneasy and unable to settle down.
- Bring to mind a visualisation of a calm lake.
- Drop down beneath the surface of the lake.
- Notice the rhythm of your breath.
- It’s like the swaying movement of the lake as wind and rain creates turbulence across the lake surface.
- Below the turbulence the lake is a space of calm.
You may be about to have an important meeting with someone or undertake a task you feel nervous about. Beforehand, let yourself visualise a mountain.
- Imagine you embody the qualities of this mountain.
- You stand tall and upright.
- You feel strong and capable.
- Whatever storms are about to blow around you, allow your stillness to be a powerful grounded response.
If you’re experiencing an extended period of disruption, take your inspiration from a tree.
- Extend your imaginary roots deep down into the earth.
- Allow yourself to be flexible like the branches in the wind.
- So while it’s all kicking off around you, your tree vision helps you remain rooted and balanced.
And don’t forget to stop and look at the real trees in your environment. They’re incredible guardians of our world.
Do you have helpful phrases you draw on to stay calm and resilient?
Yvette Jane – Mindfulness & Meditation Coach
Place of Serenity – Grow your calm and resilience
This blog post update first out on 9 September 2016