You’re going about your day when you suddenly start feeling bad about yourself.
Do you know that experience?
Out of the blue you get one of these strong feelings that you aren’t doing very well. Your inner critic starts bad-mouthing you. Here are 3 common situations and how you can become more resilient in their wake:
Feeling bad about yourself number 1: I’m not good enough
You read or hear about someone else in the field of work similar to yours. They’ve created something successful and they appear to be doing brilliantly! You suddenly feel you’re not good enough!
Most important to remember: do not compare yourself to anyone else. You are unique.
Your journey will be yours and yours alone. Your strengths and abilities are specific to you. So yes, be INSPIRED by amazing people, but don’t fall into the trap of feeling you will never be good enough compared to them.
Feeling bad about yourself number 2: I’ve made a mistake and want to hide
Making mistakes is part of life. Keep picking yourself up and dusting yourself down.
No need to feel shame. This is how you learn – by making mistakes, by ‘stepping into the arena’ (Brene Brown’s term). It’s good to put yourself forward, step out of your comfort zone and do things that might be new to you. This can be in any area of your life.
Feeling bad about yourself number 3: I’m not perfect so I’m not yet ready
Remember you are Human not Superhuman.
Perfectionism is NOT the way forward. It can sometimes stop you in your tracks if you continually wait for everything to be perfect.
Start with the small steps you’re already capable of rather than procrastinating that you’re not yet ready. And then, whatever you’re doing – having perfect expectations can mean you never enjoy what you’re doing. You are too busy trying to be super-perfect!
Bring mindful awareness to feeling bad about yourself
The anchor to these 3 ways to avoid feeling bad about yourself, is meditation. Bring your mindful awareness to yourself and notice when you are:
1. Feeling inferior compared to others
2. Feeling shame because you’ve made a mistake
3. Feeling you have to be perfect
Meditation is a skill whereby you can sit and observe such emotions.
Be compassionate with yourself – notice where the feelings make themselves known in your body. Let them come and watch them go.
These inner critic thoughts are natural, yet you don’t need to believe them and feel bad about yourself. You might notice all three of these inner critics relate to feeling as though you’re not good enough. Watch the stories you are getting caught up in.
‘The mind’s natural condition is peace. Then a thought enters, you believe it, and the peace seems to disappear….When you question the thought…the story falls away…Peace is who you are without a story.’
So stop feeling bad about yourself. This is your life and by bringing mindful awareness and self-compassion to those inner demons, you really can be in charge!
Yvette Jane – Mindfulness & Meditation Coach
References: ‘Daring Greatly’ and ‘Rising Strong’ by Brene Brown
The Work by Byron Katie
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